Dear Heart,
I think it goes somethin like this... But I changed it to fit me and we'll just say this is about Mr.HAINES
"would you look at him as he looks at me
he's got me thinkin about him constantly
but he don't know how I feel
and as he carries on without a doubt
I wonder if he's figured out
I'm crazy for this guy"
DeaR HeaRT:
Be careful of your thoughts, they lead to words. Be careful of the words you speak, they lead to your actions. Be careful of your actions, they lead to your habits. Be careful of your habits, they characterize you as a person. And your character leads to your destiny...
DeaR HeaRT:
i WaS ReaDiNG SoMeTHiNG iN PSyCH aND FouND aN iNTeReSTiNG aRTiCLe oN aBuSiVe ReLaTioNSHiPS...
ReaD THiS:
Women are expected to give and forgive more in a relationship than men are. In order to keep things smoothly and keep a man happy, women usually make more compromises. (THiS iS QuiTe TRue iN My CaSe) The pattern of abuse is cyclical. First, there is a buildup tension, with increasingly frequent arguing. Then comes the violent outburst. It mayor may not include physically hurting the other person. Next come profuse apologies, pledges of love, and promises that it will never happen again. These are followed by the "honeymoon" period, when everyhting seems even better than ever. Eventually, however, the cycle repeats itself. Each time it does, the interval between cycles gets shorter, the violence increases, and the "honeymoon" period is shorter and less intense.
THeN THeRe aRe THe SiGNS THaT CaN BRiNG You To THe FaCT THaT MaYBe You'Re BeiNG aBuSeD SoMeHoW. GiRLS, iF TWo oR THRee oF THeSe SiGNS SouND FaMiLiaR... GeT HeLP!!
- Does he try to control you by telling you what you can and cannot do, where you can and cannot go, whom you can and cannot see? This is sometimes interpeted as having an interest in your welfare, but it also shows the lack of respect for your decisions, interests, and needs.
- Is he extremely jealous? A certain amount of jealousy in a close realtionship is probably to be expected, and most people find it flattering. However, too much jealousy can wuickly become a seriosu problem. This is especially true if he blames you for encouraging the attention of other men.
- Does he try to isolate you from your friends? By cutting off or damaging relationships with other people, he increases his own control. If you have no one to turn to, to discuss your problems with, to seek help from, you are more likely to stay with him.
- Does he frequently belittle or insult you? Is he quick to point out your faults? None of us is perfect, and all of us have faults. BUt love should make us feel better about ourselvesnot worse. Humiliation is just another weapon for gaining control.
- Do you as a couple always do what he wants to do and rarely or never what you want to do? Again, this shows a lack of repsect for you and increases his control over the relationship.
- Does he blame you for his own mistakes? When he mistreats you, does he use his love for her to excuse his behavior? This is simply another indication of his failure to accept responsibility for his won actions. Also, you are more likely to forgive his abuse if he can make you believe that either you or his love for you is somehow responsible. Well, guess what? It's not true. No one can make someone else do something.
- Does he have a short fuse? Someone who is very quick to anger is very likely to act without thinking first.
- Do your friends repeatedly ask you why you put up with him abd with the way he treats you? Do they frequently suggest that you leave him? When those who know us really well become concerned, is it usually a sign that we should take a close look at what is really going on. People outside of an emotional situation have a more objective and clearer perspective. "You don't know him" is a typical excuse. Well you know what, you don't know him either.
It is usually best to leave the relationship after the first instance of any of these signs. Failing that, you should never give anyone more than one second chance. Having invested a lot of time and energy in a relationship is not a good reason to stay when its gone bad.
DeaR HeaRT:
i TooK SoMe iNCReDiBLy aMuSiNG TeSTS.... LooK WuT i aM!
aND iN My LiFe... i'LL eND uP WiTH 12 LoVeRS... 1 FeMaLe aND THe ReST MaLe... BiG iCK!!... BuT Ya... THe SuCKy PaRT iS THaT i'LL LoVe oNLy oNe FRoM THaT LiST... HoPe THaT'S My 12th MaN...aND We CaN MaRRy HaPPiLy eVeR aFTeR iF He DoeSN'T MiND a SLuT WiFe... HaHa... i ReaLLy aM NoT a SLuT... (SHuT uP! i'M NoT!) GueSS THiS MeaNS i'LL LoVe FeW... WHiCH PuTS a STRaiN iN My HoPeS oF FiNDiNG THe oNe... WuT iF He SHoWS uP LaST iN My LiFe... DoeS THaT MeaN i HaFTo Go THRu aLL THeSe PeoPLe To FiND HiM? oR WuT iF He aLReaDy HaPPeNeD oR iS SoMe GuY WHo'S NuMBeR iS iN THe MiDDLe SoMeWHeRe... DoeS THaT MeaN i GaVE HiM uP aLoNG THe WaY? SaD, SaD THouGHT... i PRaY i'M NoT THaT STuPiD... oR HoPeFuLLy i FiND HiM LaTeR aND MaRRy HiM... i JuST WaNNa MaRRy THe LoVe oF My LiFe... iS THaT Too MuCH To aSK? My oNLy FeaR iS To LiVe THiS LiFe aLoNe...
DeaR HeaRT:
SiN BRouGHT uP a GooD PoiNT... WHeN WaS THe LaST TiMe YouR CuRReNT LoVe MaDe You FeeL GooD? oR BeauTiFuL? oR MaDe You FeeL LiKe You WeRe WoRTH SoMeTHiNG... aNyTHiNG!! WeLL THiS GoeS ouT To aLL THe GuYS ouT THeRe... a LiL aDViCe...
ReMeMBeR To...:
~tell her she's beautiful
~show up on her doorstep and suprise her when she feels down
~call her just to say "i love you"
~mean it when you say "i love you"
~get her flowers (picking flowers is just as good, maybe even better, than buying them)
~hold her hand
~leave notes where she is sure to see it
~write her letters when you're in school or work (it makes us feel special that you thought of us)
~just look at her once in awhile
~tell her you appreciate her and know why you do
~try to write poetry (even though it sucks, we'll love it anyway)
~dedicate songs to her
~sing her the song you dedicated
~not make her cry
~wipe her tears when you do
~let her cry on your shoulder
~keep movie stubs
~remember the little things you two do and remind her to show you were paying attention (haha)
~show her off to your friends
~let her meet your parents
~celebrate anniversaries
~not complain about her or things she does
~be fair in movie picking. in other words, take turns!!
~hold her when you can
~think of her when she's not around
~tell her you thought of her when she wasn't around
~kiss her, just to kiss her
~smile when you're around her
~notice how pretty she is
~be thankful you have her
~don't do anything that might hurt her (don't do things that you wouldn't want her doing)
~not lie to her
~pick up broken heart pieces
~joke with her
~make her smile and laugh
~laugh at her jokes (even the dumb ones)
~not put her down (girls already have low self esteems, guys don't help)
~not be so bossy and demanding
~never tell her what to wear unless she specifically asks you
~expect her to give up everything for you if you're not willing to do it
~sacrifice things for her
~trust her
~never, i repeat NEVER call her fat or anything even suggesting that
~listen to her problems
~tell her your problems
~touch her hair and look at her with longing eyes filled with awe... hehe
~let her have her way sometimes and spoil her
~be understanding about mood swings
~make sure she knows she's the only one for you
~know she's your snapple (the best stuff on earth)
~do whatever it takes so she won't have to say "do you still love me?"
NoW GiRLS... SHoW THiS To YouR MaN... MiGHT HeLP HiM ouT Be a TiP ToP BoYFRieND... aND iF He aLReaDy DoeS aLL THiS FoR You... THeN GooD FoR You... CoNSiDeR YouRSeLF LuCKy CuZ MoST oF ouRS NeeD a LiTTLe NuDGe oNCe iN a WHiLe... NoW iT'S ouR TuRN... WHeN WaS THe LaST TiMe We MaDE THe LoVe'S oF ouR LiFe FeeL SPeCiaL? Be FaiR, GiRLS... iT GoeS BoTH WaYS Too... =)
